FISHERMAN
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean
fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of
motorboat.
SALESMAN
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine
article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around
is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he
chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!
ECONOMIST
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements
are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear
too heavy a burden upon the national interest.
MATHEMATICIAN
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be
numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to
help further my family unit.
IT CONSULTANT
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The
speed of my current flows of information and processes is
slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound
to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.
BUSINESS MAN
Wife wanted for company.
POLITICIAN
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we
live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past
differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need
someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and
bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized
society................. (etc etc and never getting to the
point)
CAR DEALER
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in
excellent working condition.
FARMER
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.
LAWYER
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for
the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for
should be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl,
with evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl
should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction
of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and
will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all
liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our
part of any kind whatsoever.
PILOT
Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed
applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have
her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the
long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically
sound!!!
BANKER
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her
service.
ACCOUNTANT
Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for
figures. She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure
and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses
in my life as possible. She should profit from a nice
personality and be a credit to her family.
SHIRABI
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks
factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when
friends come round. Friends come round only seven times a week.
Girl preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet
personally in a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be
ample.
MINICAB DRIVER
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling
from base, erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license
not necessary, but map reading skills are a bonus.
BEGGAR
Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee nahi to
upni hee dey dey, Allah terah bullah kurrey, Tujhey eik key
balley doh dey dey, Hillery hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!
BUILDER
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life.
Must be homely and willing to build relationship from the ground
up.
DOCTOR
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life.
However if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine
by me.
ARMY COMMANDO
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife.
Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a
compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.
RACE CAR DRIVER
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be
able to keep pace!
ASTRONAUT
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone
to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this
world!
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